A Bridge in my Mind

I think of bridges.

More so their ridges, the edge.

I wonder how tall I'd be standing on the barrier

the concrete that is protective of it's carrier

The wall between you and

the fall.

That's where I think I'd be tall.

That's where it's all,

it's all okay, it's all relevant.

It's evident that here is where a stand is made,

this threshold, this barricade

My accolade?

No aid.

No shade, but

this is how I'm made.

Grit, steel, dirt,

accepting the hurt,

making it work,

wishing tears didnt spurt.

Wishing it wasn't 3/4s drinks

making my truth.

Wish it was the root cause,

wish it solved flaws,

wished it had claws,

and a bad attitude.

wish it stung, wish it rung, wish a wish was

something more than hope.

wish a smoke was more than dope,

nope.

Wish an escape was really a new start,

the two could never be further apart.

I miss my friends,

I miss my heart,

I miss my friends who are'nt

Who arent here.

Who dont cheer,dont jeer.

Who couldnt accept queer.

Who wouldn't hear

of you being sad,

but could be bothered to burden me with their hardships,

that I would gladly shoulder.

If only we could've got older.

Listen Solider,

Suffering exists,

dont resist.

Endure.

Out of anger

Endure.

Out of defiance.

Endure.

Out of love.

Endure.

After darkness, always comes LIGHT.

Ignite.

You are eons of accumulated knowledge in an atom,

you are un-fucking-fathomable...

and I miss you.

I miss you both

And that is unfathomable.

More than ghosts, and legends and the love

we used to speak of.

YOU BOTH LEFT ME.

I am angry.

Not at you.

At me.

For not being enough to keep you here.

For bot being a friend when you found that rock bottom you searched for like Jacques Cousto.

Glad you found your place...but...

Where DO I go?

I dont know,

and now it's left to silly rhyme OnLine.

A place more souless than you now.

Profound.

Unfound. 404.

Error.

I'm deader,

but the last living.